“I Just Don’t Know How You Do It!”

A little love note on grace, grit, and choosing joy in the chaos.

Fall has finally arrived (I'm not one to complain about the extended summer weather we had this year), and with it, the gentle reminder that the year is winding down. The leaves change colour, the air turns crisp, and life seems to speed up in anticipation of colder days and ALL the holidays around the corner 😉. It’s a time when many of us find ourselves juggling work, family, social commitments, and maybe even a well-deserved moment for ourselves.  If I could be paid each time someone has uttered the words, “I just don’t know how you do it”, I wouldn’t have to work ever again.

I get it, it’s crazy on paper, right?  Married to my high-school sweetheart, 4 kids, operating a design business, co-founding a secondary business, building an office space, working under tight timelines, writing a blog… blah blah blah.. and somehow, we all still show up with smiles on our faces.

my joy

Whenever someone utters, “I just don’t know how you do it”, it’s often meant as a compliment—a nod to your ability to manage multiple responsibilities with apparent ease. But behind that tip of the iceberg everyone sees, there are countless moments of struggle, compromise, and resilience. From parents balancing school drop-offs with deadlines, to students managing coursework and part-time jobs, to careers supporting loved ones while pursuing their own dreams; the phrase is a recognition of invisible labour and fortitude.

 You want to know my secret?

It’s my husband… just kidding – (kind of)

Although I’m still waiting for the day he tells me he’s actually a billionaire but just wanted to be sure I loved him first… it’s not only his ability to hold the vision of my fully realized self for me when I can't (and I wouldn’t have chased after my dream of starting Soda Pop Design without his encouragement), it also has a little something to do with my own determination and refusal to fail.

I’m a firm believer that things should feel good and that we can “have it all”.  If it’s not right, it’s wrong.  Don’t spend time or energy on the stuff that feels shitty – just thank the lesson and move on.  That’s not to say that things don’t come with struggle, but the older I get, the less I care about spending time and energy on things that don’t serve me, which I believe will in turn will serve the greater good.

Behind every successful person is a plethora of closed doors, lost or missed opportunities, sleepless nights, unanswered questions, tears on the bathroom floor.. and support in some way or another.  

a pretty bathroom to cry in ;)

Lesson one

Growing up cleaning our house every Saturday, I remember the wave of relief(?) I felt when my mom suggested to me as a grown working woman with my own family that I should hire a cleaner because I already had so much on my plate.  It was like I was waiting for her permission to not have to juggle it all. The point? Ask for help (by contrast, my husband is terrible at this but, baby steps.. he’s started to ask the kids to help fold the laundry..).  It’s not a weakness – stop that thinking right now!  If you need a nanny, or a cleaner, or help understanding something you haven't yet grasped, there is no such thing as pride – just do what you have to do. Outsource what you can. For me at work, this would look like bouncing ideas off of trusted trades and contractors, using the reps from various companies the way they hope we do – by reaching out and letting them offer some guidance.  I don’t know what I don’t know and by asking, I don’t have to spend time guessing, I can just learn.

Lesson two – give myself grace.

Oof… this one has been hard. I am have been THE WORST to myself.  Perfectionism in some shows up as paralysation. For me, it’s obsession and strict unseen rules that forbid me from making a mistake. As a mom, this wouldn’t make me a healthy role model and when I started to see hints of my kids being hard on themselves, I knew I had to lead by example.  Seeing them grow - with two of them now in their teenage years (!), I’m hopeful that the lessons they're teaching me to teach them will feel second nature by the time my next two hit this stage.  For my daughter, I put a baby picture of her up on her mirror and I asked her to say the same things she was telling herself, out loud to that sweet little girl.. message received. For my son who beats himself up for not making whatever team he wants to be on, we shift his attention to all the other things he’s wonderful at. It’s ok to grieve and be in your feelings, but don’t live there and let the feelings of not being “good enough” become facts.

The next lesson I’m working on? 

Celebrating the small wins (heck, even taking time to celebrate big wins would be a step in the right direction!). I am a perpetual goal-post mover. Ew. I don’t even like to admit it but there is a small part of me that wears that badge with honour. 

Like I said, I’m working on it.

Thriving in Purposeful Chaos

behind the curtain - welcome distractions

Balance – I know I know, that word sucks but stick with me for a second. It isn't about perfection—it's about making choices and setting priorities. For some, balance might mean carving out thirty minutes to go for a walk; for others it’s a quiet evening with a book or a Netflix binge. I choose my life. Every day, every step I take. And I wouldn’t choose differently. I love being surrounded by my kids while they play and I work. I love driving them to their activities and getting little insights into their lives during the car rides. I love being able to answer calls from clients or suppliers and getting things done on the road if I have to. I love it all.

Maybe that’s the key – embrace it - don’t fight it.

In October, as the daylight fades earlier and the pace quickens, it's vital to remember that you’re doing enough, and often, you’re doing more than you realize.

So, to everyone who’s heard, “I just don’t know how you do it”—take a moment to acknowledge your own hard work and hidden tenacity. You’re stronger than you think, and your efforts matter. This October, give yourself credit, embrace your unique journey, and know that even when it feels overwhelming, you’re not alone.

Let’s celebrate the resilience, kindness, and balance that make us who we are. Here’s to you, and to all the ways you ‘do it’—even when you’re not sure how.

XO,

Cynthia

💌 If this resonated with you, or you feel like someone you know or love needs to hear this too, please share and join the Just Fizz community — a monthly dose of honesty, humour, and joy in the chaos. Because we’re all doing it, somehow, together.